Adventures of Natalie

So Natalie (the foreign exchange person from Norway) is still here....not to be mean or anything but she smells like a pig who rolled around in cow manure and really old milk and then got cooked. She insists on not bathing, she says they don't too much in where she's from in Norway, Oh! and speaking of cooking. She um, cooked something this morning.

It started with me waking up and Mr love love fluffakins licking my face, then I smell something HORRIBLE I almost gagged! I thought it was my little fluffy kittys rear end...but when he left the smell was still there, so I got my nose plug out of my swim gear bag and went downstairs and um, saw Natalie cooking something

and I asked her "Do you want me to open some windows? There's a reallyyy stinky smell in here" and she said "What? I don't smell anything, nothing except the smell of freshly carved mice"
"WHAT???"
"Well, you sound surprised, all it is is mice silly"
"It smells like a pigsty in here!"
"Really? thank you!"
"What else do you cook?!?? rabbits? horses? guinia pigs?"

"Hahaha! of course not! I would need my father to help me if I did those, but they are quite delicous, but frogs are equally as yummy, I'm planning to catch one this evening"
"are you CRAZY?! Next your gonna say your ancestors ate humans or something!"
"Um...well.......I don't personally....I like to talk to them instead.....my ancestors had um...lets say different opinions on that"
"MOMMY!!!!"

And then I ran to the bus.....and called my mom on my cell phone:

"Mommy......"
"Hi whats up Jasmine?"
"The foriegn exchange person wants to eat me...."
"wants to what??"
"Mommy.....I'm scared out of my brains..."


I think Ms Natalie is going home soon....very....very...soon

Just thinking

Have you ever had friends who did horrible things to you? Well, before I met Kaysie I sure had a lot of them!

I had about 13 friends, out of these my first best friend was Sharlett, we would eat animal crackers and play in mud. But then she spit in my face and push mud into it.....I didn't like her after that

Olivia was my next best friend, we were about 7 then, we would hug a lot and go to the lake, but I was just learning to swim without my goggles, and she pushed me off the dock and into the water. I was scared of her after that

Riannah was my friend I had at 9, she was the first friend I took to a concert, plus the longest best friend I had. But one day she started to change and began realizing she was super duper pretty, so then she turned snotty, then she turned bratty, then she lied and spoke behind my back.....and it was downhill from there

Rebecca was pretty decent though, super annoying, but decent, although we were never really close, but just like my first best friend, she shoved mud into my face and that was pretty much it with her.


Kaysie came along around middle school, she was the nicest I've ever met. I remember one time it was recess and I wanted to have a best friend to hang around with. She must of read my mind because she got up from sitting down with her big group of friends with a lollipop in her mouth, came over, and offered me one. We had so much in common and talked the whole time. Then I played tag with her and her friends.
She's surely a keeper, she's like one of those friends everybody wants. Nice, outgoing enough to help you challenge yourself, honest, supporting.
We're like sisters, but not as bratty as they get towards each other. Although we do get into eachothers hair....


this is one of my favorite sayings, it's so sweet!

Just CAN'T wait!!

I just CAN'T wait for summer! for me it's only 18 more days, and I'm just having flashes of carnival rides through the day. For example, when me and my mom are driving somewhere...I look at the window and think "ooooo, tilt a whirl" when we're in a store, "oooo ferris wheel" when I'm in the park, "gravitron...double ooo!" when I'm falling asleep "sea dragon!!!" but now, no, I'm not think of rides, I'm thinking of...............peanut butter squares, double yum.

Foreign Exchange...sort of

So from now until early summer we are having this girl named Natalie that's come from Norway......She's....well, she's a decent person, but, um. Well just see how the first conversation with her went when we were at the airport.....


Me: Hi! are you Natalie?
Natalie: um, I'm pretty sure I am.
Me: Are you sure? haha, don't want to bring home the wrong Natalie! haha
Natalie: OH MY GOODNESS! oh please please don't leave me at the airport! It's cold and dingy and reminds me of my grandfathers slaughter house!
Me: hah, don't worry, I've seen pictures, I know it's you.
Natalie: What??? how did you get pictures? why, I didn't send any pictures! Is that what they do in America? spy on people? oh my!!
Me: Natalie! it's fine, my teacher gave me some. I think you got some of our family too
Natalie: what do they learn at your school? 10 + 10?
Me: No, we learn algrebra
Natalie:........what's al-gr-bra?
Me: oh great googlymoogly.
my dad: SO, have you ever killed a mouse before? I just killed about 3 the other day, very satisfying, especially right after work....mw-hah-ha-ha!
Me: 3 mice??? GEORGEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Natalie: oh yes yes, what did you put on them afterwards?
my dad: um.....what do you mean?
Natalie: salt, pepper, chicken grease?
my dad: do you EAT them??
Natalie: well of course silly, what a simply dumb thing to do just to kill them and not get tempted by their furry whiskers and button nose....yummmm. Oh and we use a nicely sharpened knife the size of about...of about....those two policemen heads. It's so delicious when we--
Me: AAAA!!! STOP STOP!!!


this is not gonna turn out well.....

My mom and me

So yesterday was mothers day as you all know...and my mom always acts very strange during those days...she hunts around the house for presents, and even after we give them to her, she keeps looking and insists we still have some hidden until she gives up around 11:00pm

and sometimes if shes found a present, and we don't know yet, it goes like this:

mom: hehheehhe
me: *opens door* mom......what are you doing?
mom: NOTHING!
me: whats that behind your back?
mom: don't ask stupid questions!
me: but I thought there was something behind your back?
mom: do your homework!
me: I finished
mom: brush your teeth!
me: I did when I got home
mom: be nice to your friends!
me: I gave Amy a hug when I left her house yesterday
mom: beds are not made for jumping on!
me: I know mom, I haven't since I was little
mom: get a sweater, you'll catch a cold!
me: I won't inside mom.
mom: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
me: I just wanted to know whats behind your back!
mom: MONEY DOESN'T GROW ON TREES!
me: mhm, do you know what today is?
mom: NO! WHAT IS THIS? 20 QUESTIONS?
me: I just asked two questions!
mom: PLATYPUSES ARE MAMMALS!
me: wha? platy--
mom: DON'T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL! *runs away*
me: but--.......................I didn't have food in my mouth..WERE YOU ASSUMING I WAS EATING A PLATYPUS?!

yes, she gets very strange.

Sometimes...

sometimes, my friend, you'll run into people that are so boring that you start feeling the bags under your eyes form from talking to them lol. Like this new girl that came a couple months ago to my school. Here's our conversation:

Me: Hi! I'm Jasmine, lotta people call me Jazz though, what's yours?
Girl: Claire
Me: cool, do you have nicknames?
Girl: No
Me: oh, so what do you like to do?
Girl: I donno, computer programming
Me: cool! what else do you like to do?
Girl: .......website designing
Me: Cool haha, do you like to design for anybody else?
Girl: No
Me: hah, so what exactly do you like doing about it?
Girl: *shrugs* I donno
Me: I should probably tell you something about me, I like skiing, do you like it?
Girl: No
Me: Do you like winter? I love snowball fights
Girl: No
Me:.........*looks around*

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Girl: OH MY GOSH!!! WHAT'S THAT SOUND??!!?!? HOLY BLUBBERNUGGETS! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!
Me: Um, Claire. Thats the fire alarm.
Girl: Oh.


oh sure, THEN she gets a personality lol

Our little convo

So me and Rebecca (a girl from my school) were talking about how much we loveeee summer, here's how it went:

Rebecca: I can't WAIT til summerrr!
Me: Omg! Me.too!
Rebecca: I know, the beach
Me: Bikeriding
Rebecca: ice cream
Me: painting toe nails
Rebecca: flip flopss
Me: yeah, and painting toe nails
Rebecca: oh! and the warm weather OF COURSE
Me: yeah! and painting toe nails....
Rebecca: and no homework
Me: and Llamas
Rebecca: .......Llamas?
Me: of COURSE! and let's not forget possums!
Rebecca: are we still on the same page?
Me: we were talking about summer weren't we?
Rebecca: yeah........anyways, oh! and water balloon fights
Me: yeah and lemonade
Rebecca: and warm sunsets
Me: and Squirrel monkeys....
Rebecca: Jazz. What are you talking about?
Me: we were talking about slumber partys weren't we?
Rebecca: What the hay! and chubby little kids...
Me: omg YEAH! and Lepercons...


that's basically how it went, lol

School BLAH!

I go to school, even though my banner says "homeschooled" haha, I was until the homeschool group got really small...So anyways, school is a real snoozer, especially middle school. I would not recommend it, lol.

Sometimes it's like a prison, if you go out of line, they push you back (A.k.a detention) they also try to teach you life lessons, such as not to be so forgetful, but COMMON everyone is sometimes aren't they? You also get a couple minutes to run around outside before they gather you together to go back into jailOH I mean middle school....teehee, but this is my last year.

So just think happy sunshine and rainbows and summer will come riding on a pony towards me in the sunrise!

Do you ever wonder?

I always wonder, what would happen if I walked up to a random person to say something random to their face? Well, I was wondering, so I tried it out!

So I saw this old lady walking along and I slowly headed towards her, she didn't start seeming a little alert until I got pretty close........lets just say it went like this:

Me: BANANAS!
Old Lady: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU HOOLIGAN!
*Old lady sprays me with pepper spray*
Me: AAA!!

I don't think I'll try that again....

driving me INSANE!

I love this song, it gives me tingly feelings inside but I have NO idea whats it called! So I can't find the lyrics to sing along....If anyone knows this song can you tell me the name of it?

Ma rap!

Here's a rap I made, oh yeah!


Yeah, Yeah
I met this banana Greg
he had a peg leg
and so I wanted to beg
to be a egg
to turn into a chicken
but he said no
he had to go
but he fell in a hole and went down low
so I wanted to say Hi
but he passed it by
cause he was shy
and didn't want to die
I walked away
and to my dismay
I looked up, saw a unicorn
I tried to say hey
but he had to go, said he had an essay
but I said no, wanted to do ballet
so we danced on the walkway
everyday, until his birthday
we both shouted hurray!
until a possum came by
he said hey you!
let's ride in a canoe
I said no, I had the flu

and he said
ick.







....................This is why I'm not a rapper.......lol

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Today

I have some very weird people in my classes.......very strange....

so I walk into my classroom, and a kid starts staring at me from a corner, and not that I-wanna-talk-to-you stare. It was a I-haven't-slept-in-ages-and-don't-be-surprised-if-I-show-up-at-your-window-at-night stare. So I just ignored it and sat down. Then I look to my right and I see a boy looking at his armpit followed up by picking his nose and farting.....4 times.

And then there's this kid who asks so many questions that I swear the teachers literally would jump out the nearest window. They go:

Science class:
"So if a planet was to hit earth, we would have about a 100% chance of, not, living."
kid: "Wait, so we couldn't live?"
"yes"
"yes, we couldn't live?"
"yes, that tis right."
"What if we had a boat, could we live then?"
"no, I'm certain that we could not."
"What if we held our breath?"
"for, the amount of ocean water flooding the planet due to the planet hitting earth, we would certainly not be able to hold our breath that long, it tis not humanly possible."
"But what if you went around to the other side of the world?"
"no"
"why not?"
"the impact of this enormous planet would certainly impact the whole earth."
"What if you flew out of the planet and onto the moon?"
"you wouldn't have time"
"why not?"
"For one thing, the moon does not have proper air to breath on, if you didn't die on earth you would die on the moon."
"what if I had a mask?"
"you wouldn't be able to put it on in time and leave this planet before the mass effected the entire earth."
"What if I DID though?"
"If the earth was destroyed you would have no where to go, therefore you would only be able to live by how much air was in your space suit"
"What if I buried myself underground, and then when it was over come out?"
"With the intense hit of the other planet, it would last very long, and due to how long it would last you would not be able to stay underground long enough"
"What if-"
"RRRGGAAGAGAGAGAAG!!!!! you couldn't live!! IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE! YOU CAN'T! YOU COULDN'T LIVE!"

"oh."